


Frienemies Forever

by lizzyleefree



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), steven universe future - Fandom
Genre: Action, Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21816058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzyleefree/pseuds/lizzyleefree
Summary: What's a better way to let off steam than unleashing your latent destructive powers on a bitter war veteran? When talking hurts too much, fighting is the only thing that brings Steven relief. This is a compilation of Steven's visits to Jasper, in between the events of SUF.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 74
Kudos: 274





	1. The Hunger

In the wee hours of the sleepless night following the incident at The Reef, Steven stared at his phone. He switched back and forth between scrolling his favorite channels on TubeTube, and trying but failing to compose a text message to Connie.

“I need to talk to you…” he typed, but that came off as too demanding.

“I’m feeling really messed up, and I almost hurt Pearl and Volleyball…” no, that would just make her worried and confused. He’d have to explain the whole story and he didn’t feel up for that.

“I feel wrong…” he erased that almost instantly. Too dramatic.

“Pink had destructive powers, and it turns out I do also. I’m scared of them…” no, that wasn’t quite accurate. It was more like he feared how much he _liked_ his new powers. He wasn’t ready to admit that to anyone.

He finally decided it must be too late to wake up Connie on a school night. He looked over at his clock, squinting at the light emitted from the numbers reading 2:23. The clock was his second replacement in a month. He kept smashing them beyond repair when trying to hit snooze.

Connie needed her sleep, but Gems did not. The Crystal Gems were all counting on him to be the strong one, though. Their dynamic had shifted since Era 3, and he felt burdening them with his problems would only worry them.

Or at least, that was the reason he told himself he was not talking to them. The primary reason was because he was so tired of talking. He was tired of bringing up things that hurt over and over. Tired of opening up old wounds and not being able to do anything about them.

The image of Volleyball cowered and scared before him wouldn’t leave his mind. He could still see his face reflected and distorted by the cracks he’d caused, as well as by the untapped rage and hurt about the cracks his mother had caused in everyone else. 

He thought about Pearl, poised to defend Volley and staring at him like he was an enemy. Shame twisted his stomach, but also hunger- and not a human hunger for food. He needed to feel that power in him again. He needed to learn to harness and control it.

He sat up in his bed and clenched his fists. They flooded with a glowing pink, and the energy that coursed through him exhilarated and awakened him like his diet of coffee and sugar never could. There was only one gem he knew he could embrace the thrumming destruction inside him around without fear or shame.

An hour later, he found himself cresting the top of the hill in the forest Jasper occupied, his breathing coming a little easier than it used to when he made the hike. The broad soldier was doing push-ups in the dirt, her muscles tensed and ready for a war long past.

“Back so soon?” she said, without looking up.

“Hi Jasper.”

“What do you want?”

“I want you to fight me.”

She jolted up so quickly that Steven had to back up to avoid being headbutted, “Really? The Pansy Pacifist Legend wants to fight with me? I’m honored.”

Steven had no interest in engaging in banter. His fists were already bubbled and swinging.

Jasper dodged the first jab, but the second caught her in the gut, eliciting a guttural laugh from her.

“What’s wrong with you?” she said, folding her arms across her chest, “The first fight I asked for, but I never thought I’d see you begging for one. Something happened, huh?”

“Why do you care?” Steven growled, frustrated that Jasper finally wanted to chat when he’d given up on that avenue with her, “All you care about is fighting, so let’s go!”

Jasper chuckled “No, I don’t think I will,” she turned away from Steven, “Isn’t it past your bedtime, little boy?”

Steven ran in front of Jasper, blocking her path, “You didn’t beat me the other day, you know! Don’t you want to prove you’re better than me? Huh?!”

“I already am."

“What are you talking about?”

“I identified the thing that would get under your skin the most was _not_ hitting you. Because you’re still too sweet to use someone as a punching bag when they’re not punching back. You see,” she picked him up by his collar and hoisted him up until they were eye to eye, “I don’t only care about fighting. I also care about pissing weaklings like you off. I’ve already won this fight.”

Jasper released him and Steven collided with the hard earth.

“You think you’ve won?” Steven murmured, brushing off his jacket as he stood, “I should have known you’re just too afraid to lose.”

“Nice try,” Jasper said, in between the push-ups she’d already resumed.

“Fine,” Steven said, sitting cross-legged on top of Jasper’s back, “I’m not leaving this spot until you fight me.”

“Do what you want,” she grunted, her reps not at all slowed by his weight.

“And I’ll be singing the whole time,” he added.

“Wait, what?”

Steven plastered on his cheesiest grin and belted out, “Life and death and love and birth, and peace and war on the planet earth! Is there anything that’s worth more than peace and love on the planet earth?”

His song ended prematurely due to Jasper reaching up flinging him into the stone wall of her cave.

In the cloud of dust from the impact, Jasper didn’t see Steven’s glowing pink form launching back at her until it was too late. His shield bashed her in the jaw, sending her spinning.

Jasper cackled and blocked his next attack by grabbing his hands and bracing her feet into the earth.

“You really want to see who’s going to win?” she asked, “Then we go until one of us is poofed.”

“I don’t,” he heaved with the effort of pushing his opponent back, “I don’t poof!”

“Then you better not lose.”


	2. A Cheap Victory

At first all Steven could hear was the ringing in his ears, followed by the pounding beats of his heart. An immense pressure filled his head, and his entire body ached. All he had the strength to do was open his eyes a sliver. He saw the back of a hulking silhouetted figure sitting beside him, looking up sky with her wild hair illuminated by the moonlight. Before he could move, sleep pulled him back under its grasp.

Several more times he regained glimpses of consciousness, and each time he opened his eyes the figure was still there, unmoving.

More time must have passed than he'd realized, as he soon felt the warmth of sunlight washing over his skin and creeping under his eyelids. It had just been night a few minutes ago, hadn’t it?

“Jasper?” he croaked.

“Huh,” she turned around and glared down at him, “You’re functional again. Took you long enough.”

Steven slowly sat up, wincing at his protesting muscles. Flashes of the fight came back to him as he saw the destruction surrounding them. Their brawl stretched on for at least 30 minutes, taking them so deep into the forest that Jasper’s cave was no longer in sight.

“So, I take it you won,” he said, “Congratulations.”

“Hmph,” she folded her arms, “A cheap victory, if you could call it that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You just fell over. Is that what you do instead of poof?”

“Fell over,” he repeated to himself.

He looked at a giant pile of rocks and rubble, and he recalled the end of the fight.

Steven never maintained his pink state as long as he had last night, and it started to take its toll on his organic body. Jasper was getting in more and more hits as he became lightheaded and sluggish. His breathing became labored, his vision was swimming, and he was coated in sweat. He was still holding his own, but with each hit he got in, Jasper always rose back up- albeit battered- with a manic smile and a new attack ready.

He had no idea what kind of impact it would take to poof her, but he knew he didn’t have the endurance to last much longer. Steven hurled an uprooted pine tree towards Jasper and was able to run around the corner of a large boulder. He was trying to lay low just for a bit to slow his wildly palpitating heart.

It only took half a minute for her to find him, but this was enough time for Steven to gather the strength to lift the boulder- four times her size- in his unsteady arms. It crumbled into thousands of pieces as it collided with her, and Steven crawled over the rubble to see if her physical form was still intact. 

He found her laying partially covered under the pile, struggling to get up under the weight. She was almost finished, and he raised a shaking fist while trying to gather the resolve to poof her.

Jasper threw enough rocks off herself to get up, and she lunged at him.

Steven didn’t remember anything after that.

“So I...I just fell over?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it? You need to train more so that I can get a decent win.”

“Of course you won,” said Steven, “I lost consciousness. Your endurance out-lasted mine.”

“I mean a win where you’re out of commission due to my strength, not your own sloppy control of your powers.”

“Hey! I’ve come a long way! I used to not even know how to use my bubble consistently.”

“And you’ve still got a long way to go. You’ve got the resolve to fight now, but you’re reckless. You’ve got to know your body’s limitations.”

“You’re one to talk about being reckless,” he reached up and flicked one of her horns.

“Shut up!” She smacked his hand away.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to teach me any more lessons?”

She groaned, “Don’t get used to it. I just get bored, not having anyone worthy to fight me. You’re a closer candidate than anyone else on this miserable planet.”

Steven looked at the spot she was sitting, which had become a patchy four-foot wide circle of dirt due to her plucking all the grass out.

“You know,” he said, “it was pretty sweet of you to stay by my side until I woke up. Did you want to be sure I was ok?”

“Don’t be ridiculous! I live here! Where else would I be?”

He pointed at the downhill path of destroyed trees behind them, “Um, isn’t your house like half a mile that way?”

She grunted, “Look, I just wanted to tell you that you’d better train up. You owe me a decent fight for annoying me so much last night, and then cheating me out of the final blow!”

“Right,” Steven looked up at the mid-morning sun in the sky, “Oh no! How long was I out?”

Jasper shrugged, “A few hours?”

Steven’s stomach twisted, “Ugh, really? I probably missed the new student orientation I had at Little Homeschool! And I was supposed to meet Amethyst for breakfast! And I had a meeting with Bismuth to see how building the-“

“Shut up!” Jasper shouted, whirling around with her finger in his face, “You just reformed and you’re obsessing about all that stupid stuff? Who cares?”

“I-I have commitments to people and-“

“They’re fine! Look at your dumb town,” she thrusted an arm towards Little Homeworld’s skyline on the horizon, “It’s still standing, isn’t it? It’s not a big deal.”

“But people need me-“

“Is that your entire identity? Being needed? And what happens when people don’t need you anymore, you pathetic weakling?”

Steven clenched his fists, “Probably the same thing that happened to you when the war ended, you bitter old jerk!”

They both stood in silence, glaring at each other. Steven’s limbs still felt like sore, unsteady jello, so he knew better than to start another fight.

“Fine,” said Jasper, “go dwell in your own mess. I’ve got better things to do.”

“You _literally_ don’t!” he shouted after her as she walked away, “All you do is sit up here and sulk!” 

Steven rolled his eyes and walked back towards his house. Making his way down the hill, his phone regained signal and began pinging endlessly with texts and reminders for all his different obligations.

He turned it off and decided he wouldn’t look at it again until he’d had a long shower and some food.


	3. Got Your Nose

Jasper respected strength over every virtue. On earth she was learning that there were different kinds of strength. That was why, when she came across one of the earthlings referred to as a “flower” in her territory, she allowed it to stay there. They could be easily crushed, but they just as easily came back, day after day, throughout her camp. Their strength was in their numbers and their persistence. She would consider crushing it again tomorrow, and would relish the feel of its velvety, delicate petals tearing.

She looked up as Steven’s long shadow crested the hill in the sunrise. There were different kinds of strength on earth, she repeated in her mind. He came every morning, no longer attempting conversation. He simply flared pink the moment they made eye contact and lunged for her. This morning was no different, and she braced herself as she parried his swings. His eyes were wild and unhinged, lacking the pretense of peace they used to hold. He was now easily the strongest opponent she’d ever faced, but somehow, he had never seemed weaker to her.

It was a weakness Jasper recognized. It was why nobody she fused with wanted to stay.

Steven was getting in even more swings than usual, and each hit seemed to be coming faster. Jasper’s whole face stung as a left hook caught her jaw and sent her crashing into the side of her cave.  
“Heh,” she stood up, popping her neck, “Your organic body is getting used to handling your full gem power. You haven’t even started tiring yet.”

“I can’t afford to get tired,” he growled.

He blocked her next strike with his shield, and then bashed it into her chest, sending her sliding back. She knocked over trees and her feet dug trenches in the soil.

He slung the pink shield at Jasper before she fully recovered her footing and leapt into the air. As Jasper reached out to catch the shield, she was left open to Steven’s attack above her. Steven’s bubbled fist again caught her in the face, and he pinned her to the ground. Jasper groaned as she struggled to push him off. His foot dug into her shoulder, knocking the wind out of her and pressing her mouth into the dirt.

She felt Steven’s hand turn her face towards him by her chin, and then grasp her gem tightly. He leaned in, eyes narrowed and glowing with the Diamond essence that ran through his blood. If Jasper made any move against him, her gem would be yanked free.

“Got your nose,” he whispered.

Jasper snarled, “Well? Get it over with! Poof me!”

“Do I really have to go through with poofing you, or can we just call this game?”

“You coward! I don’t need your mercy! It’s an insult that you won’t grant me an honorable defeat by finishing the job!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolled his eyes and let go of her gem, “It was an insult that I passed out before you could knock me out. It’s an insult when I fought you as a fusion. Now it’s an insult that I won’t poof you. What else is new?”

He turned towards the horizon with his hands in his jacket pockets, his pink glow fading back into a more human hue.

“Steven,” Jasper stood and brushed herself off as he turned to face her, “even though you ruined it at the end, that was a good fight. I haven’t been bested in battle since Rose Quartz.”

A rush of pink seeped over his face as he flinched, “Please don’t compare me to her.”

“Whatever,” Jasper said, surprised by his response but not wanting to open a discussion about it.

“Hey,” he said with a smirk, “that’s the first time you called me by my actual name. Does that mean we’re friends now?”

Jasper’s nose crinkled and she spat on his cheek. Her saliva was mixed with the dirt he’d pressed into her mouth.

“Ew,” he said, wiping off his face with his sleeve, “now that’s just a rude thing for a friend to do.”

“Friends? With you? Don’t flatter yourself.” She folded her arms, “I used your name because you defeated me. That’s enough to earn my respect.”

“Not enough respect to not spit on me, though?”

“Nope.”

“Right,” Steven sighed, “I guess that’s something to aspire to, then.”

He began to walk away, but Jasper caught up to him and said, “So that’s it? You’re really not going to poof me?”

“Why would I? I don’t want to wait two weeks for our next match while you decide how to change your outfit.”

“Two weeks?” Jasper sneered, “What am I, a Pearl?”

“Wait, so is that a thing with Pearls? Do they all take forever to reform? I thought it was just mine. I mean, she’s not ‘mine,’ but she’s um…”

Steven trailed off as he heard Jasper snickering, “Of course they take the longest! They’d shatter from embarrassment if they forgot to reform with some stupid sash!”

“The Pearl I grew up with actually doesn’t have a sash anymore. She says it was a ‘symbol of oppression.’”

Jasper snorted, “Well she sounds like the life of the party.”

Steven covered his mouth, but not before a small laugh escaped, “You’re right. She can be a huge buzzkill.”

“Quartzes are soldiers. We’re designed to reform in an efficient and practical manner, because that’s what the lives of our fellow comrades depend on.”

“What their lives depend on,” he muttered, clutching at his gem through his shirt.

“Why do your eyes look wet? That’s disgusting.”

“Sorry, I haven’t cried in a long time," he wiped his eyes with his sleeve, "It’s just some stuff that happened yesterday. A fight.”

A surge of excitement shot through Jasper and she clutched Steven’s shoulders, “You’ve been fighting other gems, too? Who was it? Did they defeat you?”

“What, are you concerned?”

“No,” she glared, “I just want another opponent.”

“Some other gems that hate me,” Steven muttered, “they fused and fought me. But I guess they knew they didn’t stand much of a chance one on one with me, so they hurt my dad. The second I let my guard down they got to him. He was crying and they were going to- look, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You’ll probably just join up with them and form a ‘We Hate Steven’ club.”

“I don’t hate you.”

His gaze snapped up to her, tears spilling down his cheeks, “Wow, that’s so nice to say! For you, I mean.”

“Ugh, that is gross! Wipe those fluids off your face.” Jasper turned away, feeling mortified at her nearly sentimental display, “This is why I don’t bother with those weaker than me. They are liabilities. Look, an inferior fusion was able to turn you- _a Diamond_ \- into a sniveling mess by messing with your weak friends.”

Steven sat on the ground, hugging his knees, “I’m more than a Diamond, Jasper. I’m a human, too.”

“And what a shame that is. I’ll never figure out why Pink Diamond gave up her form to make you.”

He was quiet a long time, and Jasper wondered what was taking him so long to make a decent comeback.

“I don’t know why she made me, either,” he choked out finally.

Jasper was perpetually annoyed with the strange hybrid for being so emotional, but her chest ached with something new now.

“I know how that is.” She kicked the dirt at her feet and stared up at Little Homeworld on the horizon.

Steven peeked up at her with puffy eyes, his cheek smooshed on the damp knees of his jeans.

“I fought thousands of years to avenge her,” Jasper said, “Trying to do what I thought she would have wanted. All that time I was fighting for a lie. My mortal enemy was also the Diamond I fought for. She made a fool of me. Everything I was created for is obsolete.”

Jasper let out a gasp of surprise as Steven tackled her waist. She grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and flung him away from her.

Steven stood, laughing, “I wasn’t starting another fight. I was just hugging you.”

The ache in Jasper’s chest deepened, and she felt alarmed at her impulse to reciprocate the gesture. 

“Don’t get things confused, Universe. I’m still your rival. You’d do well to remember that. I don’t intend to let what happened today repeat itself.”

She did not clarify if she meant the defeat or the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven: Time for a hug!  
> Jasper: YEET!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!


	4. Loss of Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for severe depressive symptoms and thoughts and descriptions with blood and bodily injury.

Steven was growing tired of the sole vegetarian flavor of ramen at the Beach City grocery store, but it would have to do. He barely had the motivation to eat now, much less to dedicate an entire Sunday to healthy meal prep like he used to do.

He plopped the hard block of noodles into a pot of boiling water, and once it had softened a bit, he shook in some frozen peas, followed by a cracked egg. That gave the salty, bland meal some semblance of nutritional value, he supposed.

The egg created a film over the surface of the water, and he knew from prior mistakes that if he didn't turn the heat down and watch it carefully, the raging heat below would break through and overflow all over the stove.

He gave the noodles a stir, watching them break apart and swirl with the strips of semi-cooked egg white chunks, and felt a lightheaded throbbing in his head that he supposed was from hunger. It was 3:30 in the afternoon; he knew he _should_ be hungry, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd really looked forward to a meal. Sometimes he wished he was a full gem so he didn't have to eat. He'd probably still sleep, though. He wanted to do little else lately.

He jolted as a familiar rhythm rapped at his front door that could only be his dad.

"Hey," He offered his best smile as he answered the door, but he still couldn't look at him for long every time he saw his choppy, short hair. He didn't know if he'd ever get used to that.

"Hey there, Schtu-ball," said Greg, returning the tense smile, "I was wondering if you wanted to help me make some Southwestern style black bean burgers to grill up tonight. Doctor says I gotta watch my cholesterol these days, so I wanted to try a ‘Meatless Monday’ thing. Just taking inspiration from our local vegetarian."

"Thanks, Dad, but I've already got food on the stove."

Greg leaned to the side to look behind Steven's shoulder, "You mean those noodles boiling over?"

Steven was suddenly aware of the hiss of angry water behind him and whirled around to see hot, eggy streams flowing off the counter to the floor.

"Son of a bitch!" He rushed over to the stove, stumbling a bit over his own feet, and turned the heat off. "I can't even fucking boil noodles right!"

Steven was still relatively new to cursing, and the words left a satisfying sting in his mouth that expressed frustration like nothing he'd quite tried before. Of course, he'd never done it around his dad, who he'd forgotten was standing in his doorway.

"Steven! I didn't teach you to talk like that!"

"You didn't teach me a lot of things," Steven mumbled immediately, without thought.

"Excuse me?"

“What?”

 _‘Shit,’_ thought Steven. Apparently, he didn’t need Cactus Steven around to blurt out his most vile thoughts anymore.

“Steven,” his dad used an uncharacteristically stern tone, “if you have something to say to me, then just say it. I can take it.”

Steven knelt on the floor by his own mess, towel in hand and panic rising in his chest.

“I said you didn’t teach me a lot of things.” His voice was low but clear this time.

“You’re right,” said Greg, “but I taught you everything I could. I’m not perfect, but I’m still your dad and I love you.”

“I love you.” The response was flat. Automated.

“Come on, buddy.” Greg placed his hands on Steven’s shoulders, “Let’s go out to the van and we can talk more while I get the grill fired up. Something tells me you haven’t eaten today."

Steven felt himself being shepherded outside, past the tarp covering the side of his house that snapped around in the wind day and night, always drowning out the peaceful ocean waves.

“Bismuth still hasn’t made it over to start on those repairs, huh?” Greg asked.

Steven grunted, not mentioning that he’d refused Bismuth’s efforts to help repair the house. Steven wanted to fix it eventually- alone- but for now it served as a reminder of Cactus Steven. Of what Steven did to him.

He found himself at the van, and he put all his concentration in appearing to be functioning normally. He mashed beans. He sliced, washed, cut, and measured. He folded the ingredients into each other and pressed them into patties. He nodded at the right moments when his dad’s small talk had pauses. He thought he was giving no indication that he was still boiling just under the surface until-

“Steven, I can tell you’re still bothered from earlier.” Greg bent his head down to maintain eye contact with Steven’s downcast gaze, “Can you please talk to me about what’s on your mind?”

“Did you?” He blurted out, before he could stop himself.

“Did I what?”

“Teach me everything you could?”

“What? Of course I did! Steven, I-“

“Why didn’t you want to live here with me?”

Steven’s mind was screaming at him to end the conversation, but the words were coming out rushed and hot before they could be cooled and contained. He stood, consciously slowing his breath and closing his eyes so he could keep from losing control.

“We all talked about that, Steven.” Greg said, “The gems thought I would be a liability- and that I would get in the way of your training. At the time I agreed. Not to mention, Pearl didn’t exactly like me around all the time, and I didn’t want us to fight in front of you.”

“I get that was your reasoning back then, but what about when Bismuth rebuilt the house? Why did you insist that you didn’t want her to build you a room? What about when my training was over? When all the fighting was over?”

His dad’s eyes welled with tears, and he stuttered a few times, trying to compose words.

“You used to miss living with me so much,” Steven continued, “that you pretended my healing powers didn’t work on you just to stay at my house. What’s changed since then, huh? Do you not want to be around me as much as you used to? Are you scared of me?”

“I just- by then you were a teenager. I thought you were used to living on your own. I didn’t think you’d want your old man cramping your style.”

Greg’s voice was so sad and small, and Steven’s insides twisted. A large part of him wanted to brush his own emotions under the rug and tell his dad that everything was fine, but he couldn’t seem to turn the heat down on the burner.

“You think, after all those years living alone, that I wouldn’t want to live with you? I wouldn’t have asked Bismuth to build a room for you if I didn’t, but you were the one who insisted on staying in that cramped, old van. I was eight, dad. I’ve basically lived by myself since I was eight. I had to be _useful_ in order to spend time with the gems, or I would get left behind. I had to teach them how to spend time with me. How to understand me. I had teach aliens how to take care of a child, when they barely knew what a child was. I never knew when they were leaving or when they would come back, and sometimes I didn’t see any of them for two weeks straight. Two weeks is _nothing_ to a gem. It didn’t even cross their minds that they weren’t taking proper care of me.”

“Steven, I’m so sorry. I- I had no idea they were gone for that long sometimes. You were always so close. You said nothing but good things about them.”

“Of course I did, dad! I was a kid and I worshipped them! And we were close- when they were here. And maybe it’s my bad for not asking you to stay over when they were gone, but I just, I dunno. I didn’t want to be a burden to you.” 

“Seems we both have that trait, huh? I could have been staying with you a lot more if I didn’t just feel I would get in the way.”

Steven wiped his eyes, nodding. “You were the adult in the situation, though. And I just think if you’d offered to stay over when they were gone sometimes, maybe I wouldn’t be as messed up now. Maybe if I just woke up with my dad in the house to eat breakfast with and stuff, even when I wasn’t being useful, then I wouldn’t have this compulsion to always have to be useful to people for them to love me!”

“I’m so sorry, Steven.” His dad grabbed him in a hug, and Steven tensed before gently placing his arms around him in return. “I thought I was doing the right thing, but I didn’t do it perfectly. I know it’s not an excuse, but I really was trying my best. I hope you’ll forgive me one day.”

Steven let his father hold him for what seemed like several minutes, and as tears rolled down his cheek he croaked “I forgive you; I just don’t understand you. I still don’t understand why you made me.”

“I’ve told you, your mom wanted to have you more than anything. For you to be a human and-“

“Yeah, I’ve heard that part.” Steven backed away to look at Greg, “I meant why _you agreed_ to make me? Why didn’t you just say ‘hey, if you want a human baby, there’s plenty up for adoption that won’t kill you?’”

“I admit, I didn’t understand everything that would go into raising you. There’s no one like you.”

“I know!” Steven clutched the side of his head, “And that’s why there’s no one who can help me control these crazy powers of mine! And why Homeworld expected me to clean up my mom’s mess! You _enabled_ her choice to die. You not only made a baby before you were ready- you made a freak-diamond-hybrid baby. And I don’t know if I can handle these powers if they get any stronger, and you can’t help me at all with it, so maybe you should have just had some restraint in where you stuck your dick!”

“That’s enough!” Greg’s face lost some of its softness, and he glared at Steven, “I know you’re hurting, but I’m your father and I still need you to talk to me with respect! A lot of parents have children with rare or unique conditions, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth having. Maybe I would have chosen differently back then if I’d known Rose was going to die, but I love you so much. And I never regret having you- ever.”

“What?” A boulder felt like in had dropped in Steven’s gut, and he was drowning, drowning, drowning.

“I said I love y-“

“No, before that. You said you didn’t know mom was going to die.”

“Oh, yeah. She didn’t tell me. Not until pretty late in the pregnancy, when she told the other gems.”

“You always said it was a decision you made together,” he whispered.

“And it was. I just wasn’t fully informed. I mean, I didn’t know you’d have Diamond powers, either. Rose wasn’t exactly forthcoming, so I didn’t know this would be such a surprise to you.”

Steven’s mind reeled back to the tape. Of the countless times he’d watched it, he’d never thought about the fact that Rose told him they couldn’t both exist when Greg was far from the camera.

He tangled his hands in his hair, pressing down on the sides of his head and trying to quell the pressure building inside him- the familiar burning tingle of diamond essence rushing under the surface of his skin.

“Steven? You’re glowing pink!”

“That’s why I exist? Because she just lied to you so she could run away from her problems and leave you alone to parent someone like me! Someone you couldn’t understand!”

“Steven-“

“ARGHH-“ Steven cried out as the pain in his head became too much. He’d felt this before, in the reef, and he knew exactly what was coming, “GET IN THE VAN, DAD!”

“What? No, Steven, I’m not leaving you!”

His dad didn’t know how dangerous he was. He’d never seen Steven like this.

“Go!” Steven shoved Greg inside, and felt a massive pulse of energy ripple out from him.

The ground rumbled and cracked beneath Steven’s feet, sending sand whooshing down beneath the earth’s surface. There was also the terrible sound of metal being bent over rock, and Steven looked up to see the old van crushed against the cliff face, propelled by his sonic energy.

“Oh stars, dad!”

The pink- both Diamond and human- drained from Steven’s face as he sprinted towards the wrecked vehicle. The door of the van was so mangled that Steven had to rip it off to get it open, tossing it 20 feet away. The metal screeched and cried as he pried it wider, and he pulled his father out.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, sorry sorry sorry sorry,” Steven chanted his apologies in a high, soft voice that sounded too childlike for someone who could do such damage. He cradled his dad in his lap, noticing that his right arm was bent at an odd angle. There was blood- so much blood. It matted in his hair, soaked through his clothes, and ran over the glimmering pieces of glass embedded in his flesh.

“Hey, Steven,” whispered Greg, “You’ve got healing powers, so no harm done, right?”

A quick, biting laugh escaped Steven’s throat, “No harm? No harm, Dad?”

“Well, I will admit that right now it hurts like a bitch,” he grinned in response to the shock in Steven’s eyes, “Your old man can curse, too.”

It hurt Steven worse than anything that his dad was trying to joke with him- that he was still trying to cheer Steven up while he lay mangled and broken from what he did. It would be easier if Greg hated him, because that’s what Steven felt he deserved for this. It didn’t take long for his tears to fall onto Greg’s chest and do their work. Pieces of glass and dirt were pushed out of Greg’s body as the flesh regrew and sealed itself, and his arm twisted back into place.

“See? Fit as a fiddle,” Greg smiled through the blood on his face, which was still warm and wet, but the physical injuries were gone.

“And the van?” Steven mumbled as Greg stood.

“Oh, yeah,” Greg stared after his home of two decades and swallowed hard, “Well, it’s just a thing. I don’t think it had too many years left in it, anyway. Besides, I was already planning on asking if I could live with you after that conversation, anyway. I really didn’t know you wanted to so much.”

“Sure,” Steven scoffed, “like you’d want to live with the same monster who destroyed your home and almost-”

His voice broke and he couldn’t complete the sentence, but it resonated in his mind. _‘You almost killed him.’_

“You’re not a monster, Steven.” Greg’s voice was pained, but Steven couldn’t look at him to read his expression. Not with all that blood still on him.

“Look at what I did! Jasper was right! I have a long way to go before I can fully control this.”

“Jasper? When were you talking to-“

“I can’t be here. I can’t.”

 _'He’s lost everything because of me,’_ Steven told himself, _‘His youth, his lover, his hair, and his home. Everything.’ ___

__“Wait, Steven, we can talk this out! We can get you some help and-“_ _

__“Nobody can help me, Dad!” Steven screamed, still squeezing his eyes shut to avoid looking at the blood, “Look, I love you, and I forgive you, and I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. Goodbye.”_ _

__Steven ignored his dad screaming after him, just as he ignored the burning tears that stung his eyes and the fear that gripped his heart. He got in the Dondai and drove away from the beach._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter didn't have much to do with Steven and Jasper, but trust me, it will tie into their story. It can function as a stand-alone story, which is how I originally intended it before deciding I wanted to fold it into Steven's arc in this story. I, uh, didn't expect it to turn out as angsty as it did, but here we are. I feel pretty bad for putting these boys through that. Q__Q
> 
> I have the rest of the fic planned out and will be updating every week from now until the end. There will probably be 8-10 chapters total.
> 
> Special thanks to fanfoolishness on Tumblr for brainstorming with me, and our conversations about Steven's complicated emotions with his parental figures that influenced this chapter.


	5. The Quartz Patrol

Jasper told herself she didn’t care that Steven had not been by to fight her for over two of earth’s lunar cycles. If she did care, it was because earth was stupidly boring when there was no one to fight. She’d taken up some odd ways to pass the time. Paintings telling the stories of her most remarkable battles filled the inside of her cave. She jumped off cliffs to try and break her record for biggest crater she could make in the earth. She even raced beetles along little stone tracks she built. The winner avoided getting crushed for another day. 

Jasper sat on top of her cave, a dusty blanket pulled tight around her shoulders, more for pressure than for warmth. As she watched the planet’s star nestle in the horizon, she could hear bipedal footsteps cresting her hill.

She waited until the footsteps stopped at the boundary of her camp, and stood with the setting sun blazing behind her, “Your weak organic body had enough rest, Universe?”

“Universe?” asked the gem before her, one eyebrow raised.

It was the overcooked Amethyst.

“I mean-“ Jasper cleared her throat- “what do you want, runt? You’re not going to try and convince me to go to that crummy school again, are you?”

“No. Unlike someone we both know, I don’t keep pushing people to change when it’s clear they don’t wanna put the effort in to.”

“Huh,” Jasper balled her fists and leapt to the ground, “Then why are you here? Not looking to lose another fight, are you?”

“I’m looking for Steven. He left Beach City and he was-“ she folded her arms tight across her chest and stared at the dirt- “he was kind of in a bad way. A lot of us thought he might come by here.”

“And what makes you think I know anything about him?” Jasper leaned against the side of her cave, trying to look uninterested.

“Well, for one, you kind of gave it away when you called me ‘Universe,’ like you were expecting him. I’m not stupid.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Jasper scoffed.

“Whatever, sick burn,” she blew her bangs away from her eye with a huff, “He just hasn’t been right lately. He said something to his dad about you right before he left. Something about still not controlling his powers? What kind of stuff have you been saying to him?”

“Heh,” Jasper spat on the ground, “That organic hasn’t been ‘right’ for a long time. And he doesn’t need any help from me to beat himself up- at least not in that way. I haven’t seen him in a while, so stop wasting my time.”

“Oh right, because you’re so busy! What do you even do up here?”

“I have a lot of things to do!” Jasper growled.

“Is that a tiny racetrack for bugs over there?” Amethyst asked flatly.

“Shut up!”

“Whoa, ok sorry! No judgement for your hobbies here. I drink motor oil for fun. So, you don’t have any leads on where Steven might have gone?”

Jasper crossed her arms, “Why do you need to find him so bad? He can take care of himself, can’t he?”

Amethyst shrugged, “Well, technically he can wipe his own ass and everything now. Did you know humans are born not being able to do that?”

“That’s revolting.”

She snickered, “Yeah, I still tease him about it sometimes.”

“Why do you even need to find him?”

“I want to find him because he’s my friend. I’ve known him his whole life, and I wouldn’t be the same gem without him. He’s going through some stuff, and I want to be there for him. I don’t expect you’d understand that kind of loyalty, though,” she sighed and turned away, “so if you don’t wanna help me find him, I get it. I just thought I’d ask.”

Jasper felt anger flare inside her, and she launched a boulder to block Amethyst from walking away.

“What the heck, dude?” She jumped back and whirled around at Jasper, “You trying to poof me or something?”

“You think I don’t understand loyalty?” Her finger jabbed into the Amethyst’s chest as she leaned in close, “I might understand it better than anyone on this puny planet! You’re going to come into my territory, a deformed quartz who didn’t even fight in the war, and talk of loyalty? I stayed loyal to Homeworld! To my comrades! My purpose!”

Amethyst looked up at her, cocking her head, and returning an emotion other than anger. Was it curiosity? Confusion? Jasper couldn’t tell.

“And what are you loyal to now?” Amethyst said.

“What am I- I- um,” Jasper growled as she realized what the Amethyst was feeling- pity, “Ugh, you’re almost as bad as that twerp! I’m fine just being loyal to myself. Nothing else is deserving of my loyalty now.”

“Being loyal to yourself is a good place to start. Not enough people know how to do that,” Amethyst nodded with her hand on her chin, and then leaned her head to the side, looking behind Jasper, “Hey, have you been making meep morp?”

“What?”

“Here in your cave,” Amethyst walked over towards Jasper’s camp and placed her hand next to a swath of color on the rocks.”

“Hey, stay out of there! I’m just recording some history.”

“What’s the point of recording history if no one learns about it? Can I see?”

After a pause, Jasper snorted. She threw aside the tarp at the entrance and grabbed her lantern, “Might as well show you what you were made for, runt.”

The light illuminated battles all around them from thousands of years ago, and Amethyst peered all around her with wide eyes, “There’s a lot of passion in these, Jasper. What’s happening in this one, with Rose?”

Jasper stared up at the billowing pink hair in the painting, still processing the fact that for most of her life her greatest rival was the same gem she thought she was serving.

“You’re not the only one with complicated feelings about her,” Amethyst whispered.

Jasper flinched, balling up her fists and expecting Amethyst to pressure her to talk about those feelings like Steven would. She just stood there, though, looking up at the paintings and waiting for Jasper to take the lead.

She looked back up at her work and began, “This was the battle on the field where the massive strawberries now grow…”

Jasper soon lost herself in the wall paintings, telling stories of cunning, strategy, strength, and sacrifice. Amethyst hung on every word.

“It must be hard,” Amethyst said, when Jasper was silent for several seconds, “not having other quartz soldiers around to talk about these stories with.”

“I thought when they were uncorrupted, at least some of them would choose to live like I did- continuing to train and striving to find the next fight” Jasper muttered, staring up at the paintings ”-but they all just moved on and started playing Human in that little town. Like our battles together didn’t even matter. I guess in the end, they didn’t.”

Amethyst's hand hovered by Jasper’s, but she withdrew it before saying, “I think more of the quartzes miss the combat than you would think. You should see the way they play Volleyball. I don’t think they can grasp the concept of a ‘no-contact’ sport.”

“The way they play what?”

“Nevermind. Look, I think I might have some ideas to talk to you about, but I really want to find Steven first. Thanks for telling me your stories. I like learning about my heritage.”

“Like it? You joined the opposing traitors the moment you emerged. Why would you like it?”

She shrugged, “Still part of the story of how I was made. And I like me.”

Jasper thought of all the biting ways she could reply to that statement. How could a gem who came out wrong be so confident? How could an overcooked little runt love anything about herself when Jasper was a perfect specimen and she couldn’t even- Jasper shook her head, clearing her thoughts.

“Anyways,” said Amethyst, “I gotta head out. Can I come by after all this stuff with Steven settles a little? I might bring one or two other quartzes with me, if that’s cool.”

“Yes,” Jasper said a little too quickly, and felt heat rise in her cheeks. Telling the stories of her past left her feeling raw, and she immediately backpedaled, “I mean, I don’t care. If you want to.”

“Cool. Alright, sis. It’s been real.” She strolled away, waving one hand behind her.

Jasper paced her camp for a few minutes after Amethyst left. Her mind was unsettled, and she wondered how just the few earth years of isolation since Era 3 started made her so soft. That Amethyst probably just acted interested in her stories to manipulate her into joining her cause. She punched one of her boulders, watching it crumble to bits, deriving none of the typical satisfaction from doing so. Her camp suddenly felt hollow and stifling.

She resigned herself with a sigh, and marched into the forest, easily catching up with the short-legged strides of the Amethyst a few minutes later.

“Jasper? What are you doing?”

“I patrol the perimeter of my territory daily for potential enemies.”

“Oh yeah? I’m sure those deer and squirrels pose a real threat to you.”

“A quartz soldier who loses their vigilance is a disgrace.”

“Right, right.” Amethyst grinned, “So you just so happen to be doing your normal patrol at the same time and place I’m looking for Steven?”

“Yeah. You have something to say about it, runt?” Jasper clenched her fists.

“Nope.”

Jasper was about to ask her to wipe that smug smile on her face, but was distracted by the sight of massive new craters in the earth. Entire trees were broken into shards of bark shrapnel scattered across the dirt. 

“Damn, dude,” Amethyst came up next to her, “you gotta leave some of the forest for the stuff that lives here. Take it easy on the training sessions.”

“This wasn’t me,” she muttered.

“What?”

They both exchanged a knowing glance.

“Steven?” Asked Amethyst.

“Maybe, but that doesn’t make sense. He’s more careful than this. He’s always gushing about his precious earthlings and healing every stupid tree and flower after every fight we-“

Jasper stopped talking as a patch of blue snagged on a gnarled branch caught her eye. She plucked it off and felt the worn denim in her fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little later than I intended, guys! I got sucked into making an animatic, which took way more time than anticipated.The dynamic between Jasper and Amethyst was a bit tricky to write, as their current standing is largely unexplored in the show. I really hope we see them interact directly before the end of Future, as there's a stark contrast in Amethyst's attitude towards her between "Change Your Mind" and "Little Homeschool."


	6. Eye of the Tiger

They found him- shaking, glowing pink, and making himself as small as possible in the corner of a shallow cave. It wasn’t all that difficult to locate him, despite his best attempts to hide. All they had to do was follow the quivers and cracks forming in the earth beneath their feet.

“Hey, Steven,” said Amethyst, crouching down next to him a few feet away, “I’m here for you, man.”

He said nothing. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, pressing out fresh tears, and his fingers tangled in his disheveled mop of curls.

Amethyst scooted closer, with her hand extended, “You’re giving me some Deja vu. Reminding me of when I was pulled out of my hole.

Jasper was frozen in place, unsure what to do with her hands, and she wondered why she followed the Amethyst to this uncomfortably intimate display.

Steven mumbled something into his knees.

“What?”

“I said I can’t go back!” His raw voice wavered and cracked through his tears, but he made the declaration as clearly as he could.

“W-well, that’s fine. We don’t have to go back right away.”

“No! No, that’s not what I mean. I can’t go back ever.”

“What? Steven, what are you talking about?”

“I just can’t!” He tensed as his voice raised, and the earth gave another rumble, “I tried to take the car as far as I could! I tried to just drive until I ran out of gas. But I- I lost control of the car. And then I just started walking.”

“Is this about Greg? Steven, he’s fine!”

“No, he’s not! Not around me!”

More cracks formed in the soil. Jasper found herself marveling at what it would be like to have that strength- the strength of a diamond, made a weakness in the volatile hormones of Steven’s feeble organic mind.

“So that’s it,” Amethyst kept pushing, “You’re just never gonna see your dad again? Connie?”

He flinched at the mention of her name and began repeating under his breath “I can’t go back. I can’t go back. I can’t go back.”

“Bullshit, Steven!”

He startled at her sudden change in tone, and finally wrenched his eyes towards her.

“You think if you just push everyone away your problems will go away, too! Steven, I’ve tried that. It doesn’t work. These powers of yours, they’re not getting out of control because you’re feeling negative emotions. It’s because you’re running from them.”

“You don’t get it!” He roared, jumping to his feet, “I almost killed him! I can’t- I- what if I…What if Connie…I can’t just act like…Argh!”

A pulse of energy flew out from him, shattering the rocks below him and bringing the roof of the cave down on top of them.

Jasper walked forward, removing debris until she found the boy huddled in his pink bubble.

He lowered his barrier and fell on Jasper’s arm as he stood, “Where is she?”

She pointed to Amethyst’s gem laying on the ground beside them.

“Oh stars, Amethyst!”

He fell to the ground and clamored for her gem, cradling it against his chest.

“Um, you know she’s fine, right?” Jasper asked, “Us quartzes reform in no time, remember?”

“That’s not the point! Why do I hurt everyone? Why can’t I just control this?”

“Universe, I was thinking,” Jasper came to stand beside him, “maybe the power of a Diamond in a human’s body just isn’t a compatible match. Maybe it’s too much.”

“Yeah, maybe I’m just screwed no matter what I do. What am I even supposed to do about that?”

“Fuse with me.”

“What?” His eyes snapped up to hers.

“I can help you control it. I’m the strongest gem you know, aren’t I? We could be unstoppable.”

“But I don’t think that- I mean- I don’t know if my mind is stable enough for a fusion.”

Jasper shrugged, “What else have you got to try?”

He took a deep breath, “Right.”

Steven started a mechanical, shuffling dance, looking bored. He stopped when Jasper held her hand to his face.

“I’m not dancing. That’s how that Pearl of yours taught you to fuse. What do we usually do when we’re together?”

Steven blinked a few times before nodding with understanding and lowering into his fighting stance.

“There ya go, Universe,” she grinned as she swung her fists towards him.

He grabbed her hand, flinging her into the sky, with no care for being gentle. He leapt up to meet her in the air and they clashed together in a flash of light.

Jasper’s exhilaration bubbled through the fusion’s lips, laughing manically at the power coursing through her. She floated through the air, exploring their new form. Pink and orange stripes covered their four arms, and the gem on their belly was a deep pink Tiger’s Eye. Steven was holding back in their matches! She could feel it- the essence pulsing through them- and knew he still had more strength he could unlock.

As the feel of Steven’s powers settled in, Jasper could not help but observe Steven’s thoughts as their feet lighted on the ground. They were like a droning static in the fusion’s mind, filled with a jumble of loud, repetitive phrases and images. They moved so fast that she could hardly make sense of them, but she knew she would have to try if the fusion had any hope of being sustainable.

_‘How does it feel? Any better now that your sharing your power with me?’_ she said in their mind, checking in with him.

_‘At the moment, yeah. I already feel calmer, just from the shock of getting used to a new mind. I know you just wanted to fuse with me to feel stronger, though.’_

_‘Would that bother you?’_

_‘I don’t even know anymore. At least it’s mutually beneficial. I think you’d be strong enough to stop me if I got out of control.’_

_‘Damn right I would.’_

_‘Well, I’ll try to get my baggage sorted out and figure out what I’m doing next. That way we won’t have to stay fused very long.’_

_‘No!’_

Tiger’s Eye slammed their fists into the earth.

_‘What?’_ asked Steven, _‘Oh wait, you don’t want that?’_

_‘Isn’t it better this way? We could always be this strong. I could make myself a little easier to share a mind with. I could, um, talk about feelings more, or whatever it is you do for fun.’_

_‘Jasper, you meant being fused permanently?’_

That certainly wasn’t what she intended at first, but now that she remembered what it was like to be fused, she didn’t want to go back.  
_‘No, not forever. Just a few hundred years.’_

_‘I’m tempted, really. I haven’t liked being Steven lately…’_

_‘So? What’s the problem?’_

_‘It’s just that, well, if I fused that long with anybody, I’d want it to be out of love or friendship-’_ Images of the sword-wielding, dark-skinned human Steven fused with flashed through their mind. _‘-not just a utilitarian purpose. You can barely stand me just hanging out at your camp, so why would a longterm fusion be a good idea?’_

Now the mental static was coming from Jasper’s side of the fusion. Their mindscape was taken over by her memories.

She was fighting in the Gem War, and those fusions just kept coming. They were the only reason she kept losing.

She was fighting that Garnet on the ship, and all the while when they fought the fusion just sang, taunting Jasper for being alone.

She felt the raw power of fusing for the first time, exhilaration coursing through her, before she was betrayed and pulled under the ocean to her own personal prison.

She was in the prison, hating herself for taking comfort in it. Hating herself for preferring it over being alone.

She was back on that human-made boat, debasing herself, begging on her knees for the first time in the thousands of years since she emerged. And all Lapis could say was “I never want to feel how I felt with you. Never again.”

She was fighting Steven and Amethyst fused together, and she lost everything while they made their little jokes and tricks. She was rejected again in front of Steven. Not even a corrupted gem wanted to stay. Jasper assumed back then that the strongest gems could resist corruption, but it came for her, too.

_‘Strength isn’t even what you want the most out of fusion,’_ Steven said as his image appeared beside her in the mindscape, _‘You’re just lonely?’_

Jasper screamed in their mind, and it escaped from jaws of the Tiger’s Eye in a tortured cry. It was too much being so exposed to Steven, and their shared mind suddenly felt stifling.

Their form flickered and warbled until the two fell apart. Jasper sat up and buried her head in her hands, no longer bothering to put up her stoic wall. What was the point of doing so around someone who’d just seen all her deepest insecurities?

“Jasper?” Steven asked, with a worried look on his face.

“What? I know you’re obsessed with getting to be a good little helper to lost gems, but I’m not asking for that! Go focus on your own garbage.”

“You’re right,” he said, sitting by her, “What I’m doing isn’t working. Amethyst is right, too. I can’t just disappear.”

Jasper grunted, nodding in agreement. She considered telling him that Amethyst was going to be visiting more, possibly with other quartzes, but she couldn’t find the right way to say it. Jasper no longer wanted to disappear, either.

“We don’t have to get into it, but are you ok? I never realized how much trauma you have around fusion.”

“I’ll be fine,” she huffed, “quartzes can take anything.”

They sat silent for several minutes.

“I’ll never get this fusion thing right,” Jasper said, the words rushing out before she could silence herself, “Maybe it’s just not for me.”

Steven looked up at the sky, now dark and scattered with stars, “It might work someday, if it’s still something you want. There are other ways to connect with others, though. Fusion isn’t always the best way to do so.”

“I know that!” she spat, “I’m connected with my comrades. Or at least, I was.”

“Can I hug you?”

“What?” She flinched back, looking down at the strange child.

“Please.”

Jasper shrugged with a noncommittal grunt and relaxed her posture back towards him, avoiding meeting his eyes.

Steven placed his arms tentatively around Jasper’s rigidly still back and burrowed into her mane of hair.

“I used to hug the gems at home if I was sad. I haven’t been able to do that in so long. I don’t know how we got so far from where we used to be. I don’t even fully get why I started pushing them away,” he hiccupped, his voice small and unsteady with exhaustion.

Jasper said nothing, unsure how to come up with a response that didn’t sound cynical or mean in some way.

“I’m really scared to go back,” he said.

Jasper sighed and clasped her arm around his shoulder, squeezing him closer to her side. She felt his body soften in response to the gesture and he gripped her so tight she thought it might snap another human child in half. His sobs came in heaving waves, and his arms shook as they clutched her waist. Judging by the moon, they must have stayed like that an hour, maybe two. She did little more than sit with him, but that seemed to be all he needed.

She found her mind wandering when she suddenly realized he’d been quiet for several minutes. Looking down, she found him immobile by her side, eyes closed. It reminded her of the time she thought he poofed himself in their fight all those months back. She knew more about organic life now, and knew it was just an energy conservation state called “sleeping.”

“Holy crap, he’s actually sleeping? How long was I out?”

Jasper craned her head slightly to see the reformed Amethyst standing behind her, “A decent amount of time for a quartz.”

“Wow,” she looked down on him, “this must be pretty weird for you, huh?”

“Uh, yeah. How long do they usually do this?”

“Sleep? Well, he’s pretty behind, so hopefully the whole night.”

“Ugh, that sounds boring! How do humans get anything done?”

“We can do it, too, you know.”

“This?” She gestured to the line of drool coming out of Steven’s open mouth, “Why would we want to?”

“It’s fun!” She flopped down on the ground on the other side of Steven, “So, the way I see it you have three options. You can go back to your camp and do whatever it is you do there. You can sit with us while we sleep and be bored. Or you can try sleeping with us. Your choice.”

“What? But how do I-“ she stopped talking as Amethyst was already snoring.

Jasper grumbled to herself, trying to stand, but feeling a weight holding her down. One of Steven’s arms was still flung over her lap and he was using her billowing hair as a kind of nest. She gave her hair a tug, wondering what the consequence for interrupting an organic’s sleep cycle was. She then cursed at herself for becoming someone who now considered such things.

After several minutes of shifting and tugging, only to stop whenever Steven stirred, Jasper resigned that she was stuck there for the night.

Jasper closed her eyes but did not sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to work out exactly what I wanted to happen in this chapter, but I hope you like the result. I'm planning to draw things to a conclusion in the next installment. The mood of this section was inspired by Jasper's emotional vulnerability in "Alone at Sea," and I just wanted to explore that side of her more. And Steven is just a hot mess who pretty much only calmed down because he got the opportunity to fall back into "helper mode." As long as he's in his comfort zone where the focus is not on his problems, he can usually manage to function. However, he's also no longer denying that he has problems. The incident with Greg is really forcing him to acknowledge that something needs to change.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't stop thinking about Steven actually wanting to visit Jasper again after she bullied him into a dissociative rage. Q_Q


End file.
